The Part Of Your Birth Story No One Asked About
Let’s be honest, giving birth is a wild journey. It breaks you open in ways you never thought possible. It transforms you physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally.
The experience of birthing a human is a lot on one’s nervous system.
The likelihood of you having multiple moments of overwhelm is very high. Let alone on the tiny little human that has to travel through the birth canal to be launched, sometimes rather abruptly, into a very bright world.
So, yes we figure it out. We also have come a long way in supporting mothers to birth in various ways. We’ve also made so many technological advances that help in medical emergencies. This is all amazing!
But there’s still this very important question that is often not even thought of : “ How did your nervous system navigate the birthing process?”
Allow me to elaborate. We are great at shifting the attention to baby. Are they feeding? Are they sleeping? Are they gaining weight? And the questions could go on and on.
But a healthy baby doesn’t erase the fear, the pain, the loss of control, the terrifying thoughts that something might be wrong with you or baby.
While you may logically understand that everyone is safe and healthy, you may be noticing that your body has a different memory of what happened.
An unspoken assumption that because baby is ok, therefore you must be ok! This is why birth trauma healing starts with making room for your experience, even when everyone else is focused on the happy outcome
Trauma doesn’t only live in the cognitive insights, it lives in the experiences of feeling helpless, unheard, rushed, terrified, and in moments of disconnection from your body.
If you find yourself avoiding talking about your birth, replaying moments with emotional overwhelm and bodily responses, overwhelmed by other people’s birth stories, feeling disconnected from what happened , or wondering why it still affects you so much, then your experience deserves some space to be honoured and integrated.
Your birth doesn’t have to be medically traumatic in order to overwhelm your nervous system. Your nervous system responses were spot on. As a historical data driven system, it is constantly assessing the level of resources it needs to allocate to any given situation. Giving birth requires all the resources possible and yes it figured it out, but perhaps it was very biologically expensive on your physiology. Maybe you wanted to respond in very different ways than you did. Maybe you wanted to speak up at times but couldn’t. Maybe you want to say ‘stop touching me’ but couldn’t find the words. Maybe, maybe, maybe….
Intensity. Unpredictability. Vulnerability. Pain. And all of these at an incredibly rapid pace at times, or painfully slow.
Your history, prior traumas, support systems, communication, perceived choice, pain tolerance, previous medical interventions, and the sense of being seen and cared for can all influence how you experience birth.
Part of exploring your birth experience is noticing where your body holds a different story than your cognitive narrative. This sometimes involves restoring a sense of safety, choice, and connection to your body and ultimately helping your mind and body make sense of all the different elements of your experience.
Supporting integration through Somatic healing one moment at a time.
If you’d like support making sense of your birth experience, learn more about birth trauma counselling in Kelowna.
With care,
Kimberly Castle, MTC, SEP™, RCS, CC-BRT
Reclaiming presence, fostering resilience, and returning to our amazing biology that knows what to do when given time and space.
Kimberly Castle is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner® and a registered counsellor with a private practice in beautiful Kelowna, BC. She focuses on Kelowna Counselling She and her team specialize in Somatic Therapy where sessions are gentle, non-invasive, and guided at your pace.
