Stress Itself Isn’t The Killer, It’s Your Mindset Around It That Affects You
We have been conditioned to think that stress is killing us and I am here to tell you that it is often a matter of your stress mindset that affects you more than the stress itself. In this 3 part series on stress mindset, I dive into how you can shift your mindset, create awareness and some tips on how to create ease in your life.
It’s all over the news, social media and TV series, reducing stress is the key to a happier and healthier life but I challenge you to think otherwise.
Rather than reducing your stress, Kelly Mcgonigal ph.d suggests transforming and embracing your stress.
Kelly McGonigal has a great book called The Upside of Stress which breaks down the studies around stress mindset and how to discover and utilize your own stress mindset.
The first step is to notice how your current mindset shows up in your life. Usually we don’t see the effect of a mindset because we are too identified with the beliefs behind it. The mindset doesn’t feel like a choice that we make, it feels like an accurate assessment of how the world works.
Even if you are fully aware of what you think about stress, you probably don’t realize how that belief affects your thoughts, actions and emotions. Kelly McGonigal calls this mindset blindness. The solution is to practice mindset mindfulness. By paying attention to how your current mindset operates in your everyday life you get to know your stress mindset and becoming aware how you speak about stress. Having a mindset is a like a filter that colours every experience.
You’ll probably discover that you have a standard way of thinking and talking about stress.
What do you say out loud or think to yourself? Such as this is too much or I am so stressed. Notice how thinking about stress in your habitual way makes you feel. Does it motivate you, inspire you, exhaust you or paralyze you? How does it make you feel about yourself, or your life?
Your stress mindset will also influence how you react to others with a stress mindset. Noticing what you say and how you feel when you are around someone who is stressed.
When other people complain about stress around you, does it make you anxious?
Do you tell them to calm down or not to stress so much? Do you try to avoid people when they are most frazzled? Or do you use other people’s stress to vent about your own stress, as a way to one-up them? Whatever you observe yourself doing, notice how it affects you and your well-being and relationship with others. Try to look for stress mindsets in the world around you.
What are the messages you get on a daily basis. Once you start looking for stress mindsets, you will notice them everywhere. In the media, even in the advertisements that are geared towards stress reduction, and in how others talk about their lives. How does all this make you feel?
Stay tuned for the next post.
Your ‘easy to talk to’ therapist,
Kimberly Castle R.T.C
Kimberly Castle is a Registered Therapeutic Counsellor with a private practice in beautiful Kelowna, BC. She focuses on empowering individuals in all areas of their life. In her practice she works with individuals who have experienced trauma related symptoms, anxiety and depression. She also offers couples counselling and enjoys working with couples to expand their relationships.